Answering Those Tough Questions: The Last Method

By Staci Deutsch, Parent Educator, Dubuque County Parents as Teachers, Four Oaks, and Certified Nurturing Healthy Sexual Development and Care for Kids Trainer

Children are curious by nature. To figure out their world, they ask lots of questions. Some questions they ask are tough ones, and the answers can be tough, too! As adults, it’s important that children come to us with questions and equally important that we are open to answering. The LAST method is a helpful tool to answer those tough questions when they arise.

L – Listen

Listen deeply. Ask yourself, “What is going on here?” and “Is there a question behind the question?”

A – Ask

Ask your child what she or he thinks the answer is. This will give you information about what your child already knows. It also helps to clarify the question. For example, a child might ask “Where did I come from?” Some children in this situation might want to know how babies are born, and others may just want to know what city they were born in.

S – Sort

Sort out your emotions and what message you want to give. Decide when and where you want to communicate this message to your child. It’s okay to take time to decide what message you want to give, but make sure you follow through.

T – Talk

Talk with respect and keep your answers simple. Answer the question at the child’s level of curiosity and understanding. Also make sure to give accurate information. If they are not satisfied with the answer, they may just ask more questions.

Remember you want your child to come back to you in the future with more thoughts and questions. You want to be an “askable” adult. This doesn’t mean you will always know the answers, but that you are open to being asked and are willing to research the answer. You want communication to LAST!

Adapted from Care for Kids Curriculum, The Leeds, Grenville, and Lanark District Health Unit, 2000. Provided by Prevent Child Abuse Vermont, Sexual Abuse Prevention Programs, 1-800-CHILDRE.