Maintaining Your Sanity as a Stay-at-Home Parent

By Christopher Bode, Member, Dubuque County Empowerment Board

My four-month-old daughter just woke up, is hungry, and crying. My two-year-old, who is having potty-training anxiety, starts crying because it is that time of the day when she can no longer hold it in. My four-year-old wants help zipping up a skirt, her fourth wardrobe change of the day playing dress-up. The cable guy is trying to get our house hooked up to both the Internet and cable. There is a knock at the door for a delivery of some kind. And then the phone starts ringing…

I know, that sounds like a scene from the 80’s movie Mr. Mom, but this really did occur one day in February. Did I pull my hair out? No, and not because I have none to pull. I survived because I learned to maintain my sanity as a stay-at-home dad. I’ll share with you four simple suggestions to help you maintain your sanity based on my years of on-the-job training.

1. Housework. Most cannot afford to have someone come in and clean house on a regular basis. The key is to control the housework, not let it control you. Take an evening and create a list of what needs to be done and prioritize it, so the most important things get done first, like cooking, laundry, and groceries. Cleaning bathrooms? Important, but they can wait one more day. Dusting? If it doesn’t get done this week, is anyone going to come in with a white glove and inspect? Don’t try to do it all in one day. No one is going to give you a gold medal for marathon cleaning.

2. Scheduled activities. Some like to involve their children in every activity that is age-appropriate, especially if they are free. While we are lucky to live in a community that has many activities to offer, that doesn’t mean you have to do them all. If your child is old enough, ask her what activity she would like to do or else decide for yourself. Avoid over-scheduling. Hurrying from one event to another with a screaming child isn’t enjoyable for anybody. Wasn’t the reason you signed up in the first place to have fun?

3. Your sanity. It is noble to give so much of yourself for your children, but don’t forget about your own sanity. Find something you are interested in that involves other adults. Volunteering for your church, child’s school, or in the community can be very fulfilling outlets on many levels and you won’t view your house as a prison.

Lastly, remember to enjoy your children! They will not be this age forever and the last thing you want to say to yourself later is “I wish I would have enjoyed them more when they were little.” Look for something special that only your child does each day and cherish it. Our children are God’s gift to us, remember to enjoy them!